8 Tips for Freeway Zombie Outbreaks

(Eternal) Rest Stop

Zombies Ahead Road Sign
Some Texas motorists have been surprised to see road signs with very strange messages lately. The signs have been warning of zombie outbreaks. More than likely this is the work of individuals with more humor than sense.

However…

Just in case it isn’t the work of stoners after a George Romero Marathon, we at FanaticSpace.com would like to offer a few road safety reminders.


8 Tips to Remember

  1. Don’t panic! Remain calm or you might lose your head…or at least your brains.

  2. Keep driving. Try not to stop, if at all possible. If it’s a localized outbreak, you might be able to move beyond it to safety.

  3. Defensive driving takes on a whole new meaning. Stay alert and avoid all obstacles.

  4. Do not hit the zombies with your car. Even though they’re already dead, try to avoid hitting them. They might damage your car. You don’t want any surprises getting stuck under your vehicle. A bite on the ankle is just as bad as a bite anywhere else and could possibly be worse. If they render you immobile, you can’t get away.

  5. Don’t pick up hitchhikers. You don’t know if they’ve been bitten.

  6. If you can’t drive any further, or your vehicle becomes immobilized, and you’re forced to go on foot, remember…


  7. Self-preservation comes first. Much like the oxygen masks in an airplane, don’t bash your kid’s zombie before bashing your own. If the zombies have hold of a friend or family member, they’re already gone.

  8. Avoid being surrounded. They’ll have numbers on their side after awhile, if not from the beginning.

  9. Always aim for the head.


Leave Your Tips

If you have any road safety tips for the apocalypse, leave a comment or use the contact form and let us know.  We’ll add ‘em to the list.


5 thoughts on “8 Tips for Freeway Zombie Outbreaks

  1. Profile photo of 2xKnight2xKnight Post author

    Nope, but I think “Dead Trucks” is code used by the military to refer to the trucks that haul the pressure locked and insulated barrels containing captured zombie remains.

    (Yeah, that’s not even close to being true.)

Comments are closed.