Eureka and a Stark Reality

We’ve been told that someone will die in Eureka…

I Do Over

(Spoilers ahead…)

It’s about time, as they say. It’s Allison and Stark’s Wedding Day and Monkey (I mean Jack) is supposed to walk Allison down the aisle. Hello, Allison, what were you thinking? In this curiously Arthurian triangle, Lancelot, er, I mean Carter, hasn’t actually slept with Guinevere/Allison, but the analogy holds.

Allison has to work on the Global Dynamics budget the morning of her big day. Corporate redaction (aka firings) is underway, and Eva Thorne needs Jack Carter to give out pink slips to those whose security badges will be disabled by 6PM.

Stark and Fargo are at GD to supervise the delivery of a new uber clock. With Fargo’s assistance, Carter locates Weinbrenner’s digs in the basement, misunderstanding the man’s role as the custodian of time. After a painful flash of blue light, Carter blows off talking to Weinbrenner, and heads to the wedding.

Enter the “Time/Temporal Loop” and Carter, not unlike like Sisyphus, spends much of the rest of the episode condemned to replay Allison’s wedding day sans the “I now pronounce you…”finale. After the first loop, Carter makes repeated attempts to convince Stark, Allison, Fargo and company that they are in a Groundhog Day scenario. Each iteration of the timeline brings a more battered Carter back into the shower. We are repeatedly treated to shower scenes with Carter and Degree antiperspirant “product placement,” which dovetails nicely with GD’s corporatization.

When Weinbrenner implies that Thorne is responsible for the timeline mayhem, we all want to believe him. Thorne’s “Fixer” character has developed… somewhat. The puzzle pieces to her real agenda are slowly being revealed. Meanwhile, her external actions remain stereotypical: Layoffs, BPR (business process redesign), apparently vindictive payback for not being invited to the wedding, and micromanagement of seemingly simple processes. I harbor a hope that she will turn out to be a hero of sorts, however unlikable her external demeanor. Even her pardon for Henry in “What About Bob?” is too quickly revealed to be self-serving. The Eureka writers haven’t been this ham fisted before…let’s hope Thorne’s actions turn out to be a setup for us, the fans.

Thorne had Henry scan an area we know she identified from WWII era nuclear experiment films. Her excuse is that she wants to erect a hotel on the parcel. She advises Henry to stay mum. Later, Carter independently follows Thorne based on an overheard conversation at GD. He steals her imaging device just as the time loop goes for another circuit.

But red herrings have become a popular plot device in Eureka. Henry determines that the device is for geological imaging. It seems there’s a large underground facility. Is that the cause of the heretofore theoretical type of radiation discovered by Henry? How can it be that an underground facility could exist while all the technology and attendant geniuses in Eureka remain unaware?

Henry also tips Carter that Weinbrenner used to work with him at NASA, and was working on backward time spinning. (Ah, if he only had a Stargate.) Carter belatedly remembers something us viewers may have noticed earlier: Weinbrenner knew about the firings before Thorne had given Carter the list.

Once confronted, Weinbrenner spills his substantial guts, and confesses that he was just trying to finish his experiments in faster than light time travel. Carter was caught in a backwash of that light, and thus her remembers the previous loops. Unfortunately, the fabric of time is in danger of destruction, and there are only two loops left before the end of the world as we know it. Ironically, Weinbrenner had no time to create a timer. Adjustments must be made to the new clock that made Weinbrenner’s job obsolete to start with Carter has to learn the equation for the speed of light. Weinbrenner’s lecture on ultra indigo light is bogus, however moving light in reverse at a speed faster than itself is legitimate. Weinbrenner is literally toasted in his at tempt to right the world. Is this the Eureka death we have been awaiting?

BIGGEST SPOILER AHEAD

Carter convinces Stark that time is out of whack by singing the aforementioned light equation to Twinkle Twinkle Little Star (too bad that’s not on the Eureka soundtrack).

Fargo tries to fix the problem by remotely syncing up with the new uber clock, but the vacuum seal shatters. It will have to be done manually. Fargo heroically offers to perform the job, Carter volunteers as well, but Stark steps in. He tells Carter that there’s no song for this one. We know he’s the logical candidate.

At first, you think that Stark will succeed, and come out of the little chamber smirking with a snide aside for Carter. Though their relationship has been intermittently less rancorous lately (notably Best in Faux), Stark can’t help but be himself. In the last moments before the repair, Stark shows a bit of the fellow he must have been when Allison fell for him the first time. He advises Carter to tell Allison that he saved the world for her and that he loved her. Awww…

Success! The fabric of time is repaired. Then Stark’s photons accelerate right into the universe.

The last we see of him is a beatific expression that disintegrates and floats away. I gasped when this happened. So did you. You sucked wind. Admit it. The stark [sic] reality is that we loved to be irritated by Nathan Stark. We loved to watch the territorial imperatives played out between Stark and Carter in their quest for Allison.

Carter has to show up at Allison’s wedding just one more time…but this time there’s no groom. Two foreshadowing sentences have permeated the episode: Carter’s “I’ll always be there for you, no matter what,” to Allison. Allison’s “Everything will work out the way it should” to Carter.

Is this where the previous alternate future from “Once in a Lifetime” kicks in? We don’t know yet. Have we gone temporarily from Arthurian saga to Moonlighting? Hmmm…meanwhile I guess we can continue to count the Bill Murray and Doctor Who references.

If it were me, I would use the Light moving backwards simulation to create a clone of Stark that is brought back to the Eureka present — bending the Arrow of Time postulations and their expansion/successors — returning Stark, but not Stark. It would allow for new nuances of character, and the creation of more Arthurian twists in Eureka. They could call it “There and Back Again”… oops wait, that’s Bilbo Baggins story.

My opinion makes no difference. They have all the season’s episodes in the can. We have to (groan) wait and see…

In the end, I’m always a sucker for a Time Travel story, on the big or not so little screen. Aren’t you? Stargate, Star Trek, Heroes, Eureka, ad infinitum. The first time I saw the old “Time Machine” movie on television, I was five years old. I spent many nights secretly trying to construct my own time machine. We all did that, didn’t we? No? Well, I think I told you a while ago that one of the reasons I love Eureka is because it reminds me of my family…and in an alternate timeline I can probably perform higher math calculations that go beyond how much to tip the restaurant server.

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With the success of Battlestar Galactica, and a darn good try from the Bionic Woman, I began to think that there were other TV shows that deserved a second chance. Some because they were good the first time around and would still be awesome. Some because they can now be fixed. We have the technology.

10. Charles in Charge

Ah the wacky antics of Willie Ames combined with the level headed compassion of Scott Baio, could sitcoms get any better?

Charles in Charge appealed to us because of it’s realism. Who wouldn’t want to earn enough money to be able to hire a college aged boy to move into our home and take care of our budding young daughters? It’s the American Dream. When you add Charles’ kind hearted, yet mildly retarded, buddy Buddy you have the recipe for an idyllic life.

Remade as…

Charles in Charge of Cell Block F

Charles in Charge is just too soft for today’s television viewers. It needs to be updated to a dark and gritty drama. There’s no place darker and grittier, nor with a more pressing need of Charles’ firm yet gentle guidance, than a women’s prison.

Imagine the crossover possibilities. Someone from Desperate Housewives will be doing time sooner or later.

9. Space 1999

When a nuclear waste facility on the moon goes critical, the moon is sent careening across the universe. For the people living and working on the moon at the time, that kinda sucks. The upside is that they get to explore the universe and bang shape changing alien chicks.

Remade as…

Space 1999: How I met your shape changing alien mother.

A group of friends are working on the moon when disaster strikes and Luna violently shoots across the galaxy like a fat chick heading for the buffet. This is all recounted to the abominable progeny of one of the survivors.

8. Monsters

Not all television needs recurring characters. Some of the best shows were different every week. This is especially true for shows designed to scare. Horror television is at a low point. The last great TV show that was truly scary was Monsters in the 90s. Before that there was a long line of similar shows that stretch back to the early days of television.

Remade as…

Wait… this show is already back on the air. I think it’s called Supernanny now. That show will scare you sterile.

7. Buck Rogers in the 25th Century

A primitive astronaut from 1987 is caught in a freak accident that propels him into the 25th century. There he teaches the people of the future about the most important aspects of 20th century life, fightin’ and bangin’ hot chicks. Important skills of this magnitude were last known to be possessed by a man named Kirk.

Remade as…

Buck Rogers in the 25th Century

No changes needed. Buck has everything he needs already. His fists, his charisma and the best wing man in the galaxy, Hawk.

6. Logan’s Run

A youth oriented utopia of the future has only one small flaw, they kill you when you turn 30. Don’t bother to run either. There are trained professionals, called Sandmen, that will hunt you down. Good news is that their Social Security program is in great shape.

What happens when a Sandman turns 30 and isn’t ready for the big dirt nap?

Remade as…

Logan’s Runway

Reality TV never saw a competition like this. The winner gets a lucrative modeling contract and the losers get killed. No part of society is as youth oriented as modeling.

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I’ll get right to the point. This movie rocks. It was done right, with respect for the original TV show. I was worried about this version of Knight Rider since I heard about it, but if Battlestar Galactica has taught me anything it’s that new versions of old favorites can be great. So I held off from expressing my opinions until I saw it.

They made it soooo hard

Biting my tongue was difficult. The little bit of news and rumors I heard weren’t giving me much hope. Will Arnett cast as K.I.T.T.? That surprised me. I kept picturing K.I.T.T.(Knight Industries Three Thousand) making it’s debut with Europe’s “The Final Countdown” playing in the background. As time passed I grew hopeful. He does have a nice voice. He could have done a great job, just watch the clip for a very brief sound bite.

Unfortunately due to a contract conflict, he had to leave the show just a couple of weeks before it was scheduled to air. He does voiceover work for GMC. Ford is backing this project, and K.I.T.T. is a Mustang now. Val Kilmer slipped behind the wheel and took over the part. He did a damn fine job too.

If you watched the clip you might have noticed that actor Justin Bruening, who plays Mike Traceur, said this is a continuation of the original series. It is, and that’s the best part. That leaves the door open for characters from the original show to come back. David “The Hoff” Hasselhoff made a short appearance in the movie as Michael Knight.

This could be great.

Don’t Call It A Comeback

Maybe Will Arnett isn’t completely out of the picture. If this project moves forward and becomes a TV show Will Arnett might have another shot. He didn’t get to play K.I.T.T., but he would make a freakin’ awesome K.A.R.R. (Knight Automated Roving Robot). He’d be better as K.A.R.R.. He almost sounds evil when he plays K.I.T.T. anyway. Since K.A.R.R. is kinda like K.I.T.T.’s evil twin I could even accept his first appearance to be accompanied by “The Final Countdown”. In fact, I would love it.

Think K.A.R.R. could make an appearance as a tricked out GMC?

: Fandoms, TV, Television, NBC, Knight Rider, 2008, Will Arnett, Val Kilmer, Justin Bruening, David Hasselhoff, The Hoff, K.I.T.T., Knight Industries Three Thousand, KITT, K.A.R.R., Knight Automated Roving Robot, KARR, Michael Knight, Mike Traceur, GMC, Ford, Mustang, Video, Youtube

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I’m not a sports fan. That’s why I didn’t bother to watch the Super Bowl. I knew that I could see the cool commercials today. I kinda wish I’d watched it after seeing a couple of ‘em. Here are the ones I liked.

Iron Man

Iron Man – Paramount Pictures

I’m starting to change my mind about the Iron Man movie. I looks like it might actually be good. If he spends more time in the suit than he does as Tony Stark it could be great.

Leatherheads

Leatherheads – Universal Pictures

Looks like George Clooney is finally getting back to what he does best, comedy. Not just that, but period comedy like the best movie he ever made O Brother, Where Art Thou?.

Guess who else is going back to comedy after making some depressing crap…

You Don’t Mess With the Zohan

You Don’t Mess With the Zohan – Sony Pictures

Adam Sandler! Woooo! Goofy characters with weird accents. This could be the character he was born to play, or it could be crap. You can never tell with an Adam Sandler movie.

Oh, and speaking of movies you can’t tell about…

Jumper

Jumper – 20th Century Fox

Looks like they took Nightcrawler, from the X-Men, and made him less blue and fuzzy. Probably a lot less interesting too.

Other Commercials

If you want to see the rest of the commercials, including a couple more movies that look kinda crappy, then head over to the 2008 Commercial Bowl powered by Spike and iFilm.

: Super Bowl Commercials, Movies, Iron Man, Leatherheads, You Don’t Mess With the Zohan, Jumper, Video, George Clooney, Adam Sandler

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This could be bad news, but even bad news is great when it’s reported by Stephen Colbert.

: Video, Humor, Halloween, Pumpkin, Jack O Lantern, War, Stephen Colbert, Colbert Report

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This is a pretty darn good AMV. I found this one when I was looking for a different one. I’m posting it here because it doesn’t quite fit with the ones I’m planning to post on AnimeFansOnline, but I wanted to share it anyway.

Speaking of Angels.

I was going to post this later, but since I’m talking about Angels I’ll post it here.

Angel over at WorldOfAngel.com is giving away $100. That could buy a lot of anime. Well, it could buy some anime. As expensive as it’s getting an extra $100 would help. So go check out the contest rules and enter. If you win, feel free to send a little thank you this way. *L*

: Anime, AMV, Send me an Angel, Real Life, Ah! My Goddess, Blogging, Blog Contest, Youtube, Internet, Fandoms

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To celebrate the 12th anniversary of Command and Conquer, EA has made the original C&C free to download. That’s right free. At no cost. No money down and nothing to pay later.

Download Command & Conquer now.
(Update: The official site is no longer hosting the files, but you can still get ‘em from MegaGames, just click on download above the title.)

If you run XP you’ll need to burn it to a CD. If you can’t burn a CD, find a friend who can. Command & Conquer is worth it.

Granted, it’s not going to be as pretty as Command & Conquer 3. It is an older game. Think about it though, this game was good enough to spawn one of the greatest PC game franchises ever. Command & Conquer is the standard in real-time strategy. Now you can play the game that started it all for free.

I’m going to download it now.

: Games, Free Stuff, Youtube, Command & Conquer Intro, Real-Time Strategy, Free Downloads, Game Downloads, Command & Conquer Free, Command & Conquer Downloads, Free Games,

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I really need to stop reading RevolutionSF. I’m sure it’s a contributing factor for geeks with high blood pressure. Ah, who am I kidding? That wouldn’t help. It’s not RevSF’s fault, mostly. They’re just reporting the screw ups made in Hollywood.

This is the trailer for the new Iron Man movie.

Abandon all hope, all ye who buy a movie ticket.

Once again the people behind the Iron Man movie have screwed up. You may remember my rant on comic book movie casting. I had very little hope for Iron Man turning out well. The only hope I had was that the scenes in the Iron Man armor would be abundant and awesome. Now I have even less hope.

Why would they make trailers and commercials with stuff that’s not in the movie? That makes no sense. Sure it’ll make people want to see a movie. What happens when they find out it’s a trick? A lot of people will just skip it. Hollywood shoots itself in the foot like this and then wonders why fewer people are going to the movies. To quote Kelly Bundy, “The mind wobbles”.

Here’s a tip for filmmakers.

If you film something for the trailer that turns out to be unbelievably cool, put it in the movie. It’s bad enough when people see a movie and find out all the best parts were in the trailer. When you see a movie and all the best parts are in the trailer, but not the movie that’s even worse. That is what people outside of the movie industry call a “lie”. You might want to look that word up. You probably know it better as “promotion” or “marketing”.

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Dragon Con. It’s almost here again. I’m getting excited. I can’t wait to see what happens this year. The panels, the costumes, the parade and the fun. It’s really something else.

I thought I’d search for “Dragon Con” on Youtube so I can share a little bit of what it’s like. I got more hits than I expected. I found a great video that sort of gives you an idea, though not entirely. You’d have to be there to really get it.

I don’t know if it’s from the official DVD that they sell at Dragon Con. Yeah, they sell DVDs of Dragon Con at Dragon Con. They’ve been doin’ that the last few years I believe. Probably for the folks who aren’t sober enough to make any home movies of their own.

Anyway, official or not here’s a short look at last year.

I’d recommend checking Youtube if you want to see more videos of Dragon Con. There’s quite a few there.

: Fans, Fandom, Conventions, Cons, Dragon Con, Dragon*Con, Video, Youtube

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Any large site you visit that allows commenting is bound to have a thread or two that looks like this. The one that it reminded me of the most was PVP, the webcomic by Scott Kurtz. Quite a few of the comment sections on his site are fairly similar. I’d like to imagine this is what meetings are like over at Mr. Kurtz’s office.

Check out more stuff like this at CollegeHumor.com.

: Humor, Video, Internet, Business Meeting, Office Humor, Internet Humor, PVP, Scott Kurtz

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